Category: Peter Pan


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Wendy wanders forward

Wendy grew weary of the endless parade of Peter Pans in her life, however enchating they were at the onset, their charm grew thinner than moon air faster than crocodiles jaws could snap shut! The vague dazzle mearly fizzled any more, for now she knew she was not to be squandered, she had been shown that she was worthy of more than the quick glimmer of fairy dust, she deserved the one thing that all in Neverland cowar from, love.

To love, and to be loved in return, was simple human nature, and Wendy was after all, a human girl, with a human heart, and we all know the most vital organ to be protected most ferociously, is, the heart. She was taught by her mother as a young girl to love with every angle of it, and later in life, as she began to grow up, she learned many times over, to try so very very hard not to give it away too easily. But you see, this was hard for Wendy, as she simply loved to love. Be it others, or music, the flowers, the smell of the ocean ( even if that nasty ol Hook and his minions were on the horizon!! ), beautifully violent storms, giving and receiving smiles,… oh, her list could go on and on, and on ( and on and on and so forth, as she was accustom to doing!!! ), but one could never doubt that Wendy had a large heart, full of love and wonderment.

The one constant of her heart, were the countless scars cast upon it by the many blind, childish, frightened Peter Pans, Lost Boys, and various pirates. All the same, all silly, all unseeing till long after she had wandered off to repair what lay left of her sweet mangled heart, and, and only then, do they see, and by that time, it was far too late! Wendy learned that although she resides in a place between Neverland and the “real” world, that when it came to matters of the heart, she could only go forward, there was no reverse in her hearts mechanisms. And when it was too late, and these funny little boys came clamouring for her heart once again, she could only shake her head and sigh, such a pity, what a shame.

Although she is alone, she is not lonely, her heart having not abandoned her, and she as always, promising her heart that she will never allow it to grow to be that of stone, she kept watch and tended to it so that it may thrive and heal and grow to love even stronger.

Wendy knew, that just like she, there is a man who also resides between the here and there, and at some point, they shall tumble upon one another, and then that, shall be a whole other tale!!

Wendy blinked, wondering if Tink were playing some fairy magic trickery upon her eyes. But no, there he was, the genuine Peter Pan, looking just as stunned as she! Did she not come here, to her other Neverland to attempt to mend her fatally wounded heart?!? How could her fractured soul comprehend this addition to her sorrowful adventure?

He was the first, others came to be known as Peter as the years accumulated, but it was he who showed her all that was wonderful and terrible at such a tender age. He was her original Moon Man, the one who showed her that she could in fact, fly about the moon and stars and fall so hopelessly in love with them for all of eternity. He dared her to dream, and in return, she dared him to love. And for so long, they left a trail of luminous fairy dust in their wake. They dreamed awake and out loud, together, and played amongst his Lost Boys whom he had gifted her as another family. Too delirious with delight to even consider the dark demise that awaited them, never knowing how long they would wander and wonder if the other were still somewhere to perhaps be found again.

There came a terrible tragedy, one too painful to speak out loud, and Wendy did something that not only broke Peters heart, but hers as well, she ran away from Neverland, silently, and found a suitable place to stop running, even if it were for but a short time. When she had secluded herself upon a tiny island, she would  force away her thoughts of him, never knowing that this would only leave her window open for others like him to come at night, with glimmering promises and fly off with her, only to find herself falling away, always. And she kept their story from all she knew, never wishing to perhaps conjure him lest she should utter his name.

And so they stood, gazing wordlessly at one another, never to have guessed this to happen, here, her other Neverland, of all places!!! Then he smiled, and she heard herself exhale. Fear melted away, words were formed, and the years fell away from their faces and frames, to be transformed to their younger, unscared selves. There was no sound of a clock ticking in a crocodiles belly, no stomping of Hook, just quiet delight.

Soon, their words fell into step with their feet, walking and talking, telling one another of what the many years had brought to them, and the unscathed fascination with the contents of the world dripped over them. All too soon, the hour had grown so very late, and Wendy surprised herself something ferocious, she spoke. She spoke of that which tore them asunder, she had a terrible urgency to atone for her sins, and as it would be, Peter felt much the same. Had truer words and apologies ever been spoken in any faction of Neverland? She doubted it enormously. This burden from half a lifetime ago fell away, being merely bits of grey dust as settled upon the ground, where they left it.

By now, you , the reader of this fine tale, must have surely concluded that Wendy and Peter were then to fly away, together, back to their land of splendid magic, and in other story, yes that very well would have been the case, but no, not now. Perhaps some silent portion in each of their hearts would gladly have lept at such a chance given by the angels, but they both knew it was not the way their story was going to have to end.

In the end, at least the end of this portion of this particular chapter, Peter was ever the gentleman, helping her steady her feet upon the pirate ship that would take her back, but not before he placed precious gems about her wrist, cuffing her to him in some small way forever. And as the boat were to depart, she turned towards the sun, called out to him, her moon, and said what she had never said before,…..

goodbye

Peter Pan, must you be such a vaporous wisp? You come to my window, imploring me to join you, to come away to Neverland, and each time, I, your Wendy, awaits for you at my window, to come, lead me away to wonderment! But you can not keep me there, your heart is not enough the strong hold to keep me from wanting!

Fairy tales that Wendy wishes to let go of, wanting, wishing from some intangible gift aside from the flight of a kiss! But to leave Neverland is a most frightening prospect, for that means to grow up, face down fears and accept. Here in Neverland, childish wishes and dreams do come true, remain as such!! And leaving means tremendous heart ache, for heart ache is not a part of this wonderous world where one remains young, untouched by the sadness of being an adult. Such a marvelous ideal!

What Wendy would ever wish to leave Peter, and such magic, perhaps, this is why such a place ever came to be. A place where those who have been struck down look up in a haze of tears, blinking, thinking it is Tink, there to carry one away from the pain of the here, and take you there, to a sweeter place, despite pirates, sinister seething men with hooks for hands, crocodiles with ticking bellies,  it was still far more majestic than earthly reality.

Oh please, come find me again, take me there, even if just for a moment! Allow this Wendy to see it all sparkle in newness, with child like wonderment, and be free of all the pains of those on the other side of the window pane.  Where no one grows up, never dies, and hearts are pure in conviction! To be with her lost boys again, if only for one singular sunny afternoon, to play, to be free of worry and heartache, that would be grande!!

I will wait for you to come, if for only one last glimpse, so that I may bank it deep within my heart, to keep me safe and warm. I am not afraid!! I do believe in fairies and flight, even if for just one more night!!

There is at times a sadness about Peter, the occasional stillness in his soul, and a hesitation to his heart beat. Those moments leave Wendy to wander the coast line of NeverLand alone and lonely.

What invisible scars lay buried beneath Peters skin, buried too deep even for Wendy to unearth. What disapointments of childhood, and more so adult, lay claim to certain shattered chambers of his heart?

She wishes she knew his wishes, she dreams of seeing into his dreams, and she desires to hold his desires close with her own.

Wendy, being the cockeyed optimist, wonders, if she knocks hard enough, would he ever come to open the door to her, wide.

And she often wonders, if she were to love well enough, if his heart would open to hers, wide.

Neverland has never been so still, Wendy knows the sadness that has permiated the landscape, like that of the cool, damp air brushing tendrils of hair across her down turned lips.

Never has Wendy felt so lost in this world she has always loved so.

At odd moments, the loss of her favorite Lost Boy leaves her eyes choked with tears and her voice brittle and foreign in sound to her ever ringing ears. At times she is woken from slumber, dreams too vivid for her wanderlust ways, something in her breaking each time, when will it ease?

Peter by her side, soothing her fragile fears, her heart beating like that of a startled animal, small and fierce. She thought she was so much stronger than this, how is it Wendy the Bold and Brave has faltered so? For the moment, Wendy draws strength from Peter, finding some peace in his presence, something she is no longer reluctant to ask, for she is not ashamed of her sadness.

She wishes to once again anticipate all of the wonderment of the world, to radiate and glow, and to wrap herself around all that she loves so dearly. She wishes for the day that when asked, that her reply of  ” I’m fine ” no longer to sound like a gentle lie to appease others.

Today, she is not “fine”, she is wistful, with a vague meloncholy, and that, that is acceptable to her. For she knows that her wound is still fresh, and that every day she misses him is yet another testimony of her love, dignified.

If the world could simply forgive her this, she knows in her heart that in time, she shall find her way, and return.

Even here on Earth, Wendy could still hear the ticking of the clock, buried deep within the crocodiles belly, anothers life diminishing, the sound that kept her from the safety of slumber.

Wendy knew that no matter how hard she clapped, however many times she repeated the mantra of ” I believe in Fairies “, she could not save her Tink from the dark destiny that awaited. And yet still, she clung to these foolish ideals.

Forced to grow up all the more, despite her desprerate measures otherwise, some small, selfish faction of her heart longed for Neverland, the place in which you never grew up, never grew old, thus, never to die.

Now, more than ever, she longed for Peters shadow at her window, biding her to come away to the safe confines she once knew, only this time, she would send another in her place. Were it her choice, she would sacrifice her own throat to Capatian Hook for the sake of this Lost Boy, to spare him his ultimate demise. For Richard the Great was the pinnacle of all that Neverland defined, held in the delicate balance of here and there.

Wendy implored the moon to guide her, for somehow, Wendy found herself lost, the trail of stars  she followed were mearly the blurred tears she kept company with as of late and she did not want for where they would find her.

Even here on Earth, Wendy could still hear the ticking of the clock, buried deep within the crocodiles belly, anothers life diminishing, the sound that kept her from the safety of slumber.

Wendy knew that no matter how hard she clapped, however many times she repeated the mantra of ” I believe in Fairies “, she could not save her Tink from the dark destiny that awaited. And yet still, she clung to these foolish ideals.

Forced to grow up all the more, despite her desprerate measures otherwise, some small, selfish faction of her heart longed for Neverland, the place in which you never grew up, never grew old, thus, never to die.

Now, more than ever, she longed for Peters shadow at her window, biding her to come away to the safe confines she once knew, only this time, she would send another in her place. Were it her choice, she would sacrifice her own throat to Capatian Hook for the sake of this Lost Boy, to spare him his ultimate demise. For Richard the Great was the pinnacle of all that Neverland defined, held in the delicate balance of here and there.

Wendy implored the moon to guide her, for somehow, Wendy found herself lost, the trail of stars  she followed were mearly the blurred tears she kept company with as of late and she did not want for where they would find her.

For so long, Wendy had only known to grasp others hands so that she could fly, it hadn’t occured to her back then to try to do so on her own. She always followed to where her heart kept company.

Upon exiting Neverland so long ago, and the promises of those who resided there, she stood on her own, alone. She learned how to fly on her own, higher than before. Yet some how along the way, she had forgotten how to allow others in to the truest parts of herself, sequestering away the most delicate, beautiful aspects for safe keeping. Was it the fear of Peter squandering her heart, or the primal fear she clung to, the one that kept others at such the safe distance?

Wandering this wonderous life, she wondered why she still pushed aside the helping hands. For she does not wish for a solitary life, bound by fear, protecting her heart so that she might miss out on the prospect of her hearts true desire, to build a life with another, to share a life built for two, no longer that of one.

The time spent alone, this brought tremendous clarity to Wendy, and she came to undestand she has no regrets for time spent in Neverland, she is the better for having done so. There, she had learned to dream aloud, to believe in the intangible, to dance, and sing, and breath in the sun.and exhale the moon. And now she also knows it is no crime to allow entry, to trust, and to give her heart to the one she desires most, and above and beyond it all, to love with her entire being, ferociously.

The Phoenix always burns for the sake of convictions pure, but each time, she rises, stronger, with her ability to love intact.

She drove, but in her mind, she flew.

With each mile passed, burdens melted, meloncholy found it’s way towards the exit and she was content.

Roads begging for swiftness, yet, she enjoyed the leisure of this journey. The solitude most welcoming, the familiarity, comforting.

The sky before her, slate in color, her companion, the songs she had not known, but had come to adore, etching something both terrible and wonderful in her.

Once again to drift away from the sea of cowards and liars. And the endless parade of boys shamelessly wearing the masks of men. Wendy was glad to be on her way home, to the safety of it, away from the bold, prying eyes that she felt upon her.

For Wendy resides somewhere between Neverland and Wonderland, a place that was more like heaven, her haven. And there, awaiting her, was family, peaceful and accepting.

She knew who could be counted on, having fingers left over for others to come. She knew there were more who will dissapoint, yet others who shall fulfill. And above and beyond, Wendy knew who she was, what no other could put asunder.

As the darkness of night closed in, the street lamps flickered….. WELCOME